actually, I'm a sock model
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
