I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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