dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Found the puke drawer
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
