Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She's the barista slut.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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