Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize