Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
