if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
