i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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