Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
