Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
