Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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