Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
