508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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