Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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