how do flat chested girls get laid?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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