good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
