she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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