Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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