Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
