dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
