I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
