I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
