oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize