We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
