Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
