Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
