Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
