how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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