my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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