If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
