we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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