i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we made out on top of his cat.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
