the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
