I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
