apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
