I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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