you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
