I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
