it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Quick, to the slutcave!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
