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• (540): View more from Virginia

  so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.

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• (951): View more from California

  Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants

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• (210): View more from Texas

  If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night

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• (916): View more from California

  I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro

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• (347): View more from New York

  And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"

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