Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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