last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
