never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
