I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
