first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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