Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
