doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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