I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Your cock deserves a montage
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
this hospital has no fireball
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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