seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
