I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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