$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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