if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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