You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
