My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
