Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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