It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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