is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
