i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he laminated a picture of his dick.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
