There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
