i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
