I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
