We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
