i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
