You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
