ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
